Kelly Blue

Allan-Blue-Final-900

By Allan Danahay

Me2 041

www.allandanahay.com

Plot

On a stakeout for a client, private investigator Kelly Wynton sees a local gangster is involved in the case. The next night, after a car chase in town, Kelly runs across a murder victim. The next morning, the woman he’s been watching is found dead. Who killed whom? Why? Whatdo the murders have to do with a cat burglar known as Spiderman? Kelly must wade through the suspects, the corruption, and blackmail in order to ferret out the truth.

A nice complex murder mystery set in Australia. Some times I cringe when I receive mysteries set outside of America, but I took a chance with this one and wasn’t too disappointed.

Characters

James Kelly Wynton: 32, private investigator, loves jazz, drives a Ford Territory, former police officer, owns a Ducati Monster

Spiderman”: 28, female, cat burglar, slender build, drives a Ducati Monster

Danielle: 16, large breasts, father is a lawyer

Damian Black: 20, drives a black Nissan Skyline, mechanic

Max Busby: James’ boss, fifties, former police officer

Charles Diamond: mid sixties, career criminal, drives an Audi, homosexual,

Terry Doyle: homicide investigator,

Elaine Norman: Brothel owner

Jonno Hetaraka: private investigator, drives a Nissan Murano SUV

Long cast of characters with just enough info to get a picture of them. Yes, Spiderman’s name is revealed later.

Dialogue

As mentioned below, run-on sentences which tended to make me lose the gist of the conversation. Most of the characters tend to speak this way.

Writing

Chapters headed by date and time. Except for the prologue, it is first person from Kelly’s POV. A lot of run-on sentences. In fact entire paragraphs consist of one sentence. Misuse of ellipsis and other incorrect and missing punctuation in many areas. The missing punctuation makes it very difficult to read and understand some of the shorter sentences, let alone the lengthy ones. Profanity. A few misspelled words. Writing could be tighter. Sentences often are too wordy or detailed to get the point across.

I like the story. It’s a well laid out plot, well told, good action. An all-around fine mystery but the above mistakes must reduce an otherwise higher rank to:

Camouflage Belt

Camo

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Posted on October 6, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hi…thank you for your review I appreciate the feedback but I’m mystified by some of your comments as I am very particular about punctuation and spelling.

    The book was proof read several times to weed out this type of error.

    Note that Australia uses UK spelling and words like colour and harbour have the ‘u’ unlike the US ‘color’ ‘harbor’ etc and I felt that using US spelling would not be true to the setting.

    Thanks again…..Allan Danahay

  2. Nope, I recognize the British spelling. I like it better than the American version.

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