Willing Servants

Ebook Cover for Willing Servants

By Eric Turowski

Eric author Photo

http://www.amazon.com/Willing-Servants-Eric-Turowski-ebook/dp/B011QNKXGU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1437617749&sr=8-1&keywords=willing+servants%2C+turowski

Plot

How can a dead serial killer from ten years ago returned to haunt Mara Singleton, a ghost hunter? The detective who solved the decade old case thinks it’s a demon. How can a dead serial kidnapper of children return to torment Mara’s psychic father? His psychic associates are there to help. What is haunting a San Francisco area house owned by a couple of Mara’s friends? Mara and her investigative team are on the case.

Enter the paranormal world and be prepared to be scared. There is plenty of story here and enough side stories to keep me interested. I have to to steal the line from the Chiller channel – scary good.

Characters

Mara Singleton: paranormal investigator, owns PsiCom, psychic, drives a Toyota, graduated San Francisco State, former insurance investigator, author

Everett Singleton: Mara’s father, divorced, uses a cane, black hair white at the temples, tall, psychic, former stock broker

Sam Bradford: rank of Lieutenant, divorced, trying to quit smoking

Mike Halloway: overweight, owns a contracting firm, owns a cat

Bridgett Halloway: Mike’s wife, pregnant, gold-brown eyes, works in IT

Ben Fredericks: Mara’s boyfriend, attended San Francisco State, likes to cycle, hike and rock climb, sells insurance

Arthur: 6’5”, thin, geomancer

Delores ‘Dee-Dee’ Delacroix: bird like, upper 70s, psychometrist

Holly Owen: Reverend, wavy black hair, sharp nose, CPA

More characters than I thought. Not that this is bad at times, but the supporting roles weren’t as strong as I would have liked. This is due to the three stories going on so something has to suffer. This is disappointing because I liked the supporting cast and wanted more from them.

Dialogue

Some instances of periods where there should be commas and vice-verse. Some lectures but not too bad. Voices come through relatively well. An aged priest and some of the associates of Everett and Mara are pretty distinctive.

Writing

Book is separated into Parts. Some chapters are headed by date. Profanity.

There are many instances of ‘ing’ action words following actions. This is fine sometimes, but sometimes it doesn’t work. What works-and when it does, I think it should be used sparingly-is when the first action assists the second action. i.e. – He pushed her, knocking her back against the wall. Okay, this could work although I might have rewritten the sentence to dispense with the ‘ing’ word. The second action is happening at the same time, or nearly so, as the first action. The above example isn’t a sentence from the story, however, this one is: Jerry reached in, pulling out a long cylindrical case. In this case, I don’t think it works because one can’t reach in and pull out at the same time. Jerry reached in and pulled out a… works better. It may be minor, but I saw several instances where sentences could have been rewritten to work or sound better. The ‘ing’ words denote an action happening at the time and many times I found in this story, that sentences could have been tighter had they been written to eliminate the ‘ing’ word.

Otherwise the scare factor was pretty good. The author did a nice job of bouncing from one story to the next. The action was tight. I was a bit confused at the point where Mara was overwhelmed by the demon and only because the next day, but the explanation is fine…and eerie.

And get ready for a wild and wicked ending.

To be fair, with the errors, I should give this a green. However, the ‘like’ factor kicked in and I enjoy a scary story that shows me something different or presents the horror in a fresh way. This one does, so, with grudging reluctance, I’ll bump up the rank, with a caution that next time, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Lol.

My Rank:

Purple Belt

Purple

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Posted on August 13, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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