by Tonne Odom
Sade Evans is a teenager with an abusive father and a despicable stepmother. Some classmates hate her. So, she decides to kill those who are against her. All of them. Thus, her life spirals out of control with events playing out that cause her pain…and further her killing spree.
I think the plot is okay, but the way it all played out, it became a mish-mash of stuff. A bit of paranormal or psychological insanity, a bit of religion, a bit of sex, and a whole lot of murder. There were too many things wrong with this to make it enjoyable.
Sade Evans: black, smokes, hazel eyes, attractive, long dark hair, 5’7”, wealthy, father is an attorney, mother dead, drives a red Lamborghini,
Vita: black, Sade’s stepmother, 5’4”, dark curly hair
Tia Cox: black, Sade’s friend, smokes
Shawn Johnson; black, plays football, parents own a restaurant
The problem with Sade is that the narrator doesn’t ever ‘go close’. The reader is told what she feels instead of shown. I don’t feel her pain at being beaten (or the pleasure in her having sex). I don’t see her anger or depression. Most of the others are surface characters. Sade drives a very expensive car which doesn’t make sense that her father would either buy one for her or allow her to have one with the way he hates her so much.
Some of the characters aren’t believable in their actions. Tia goes off on a little girl at a funeral and Sade’s grandmother, who surely must have overheard the exchange, doesn’t reprimand her. The grandmother does in a later scene.
Continuity error: Most of the book one of the detectives is named Simms, but in other scenes, he’s named Simmons. The cops certainly are not believable in their roles.
The author tries to capture the ‘black street voice’ and does okay, but sometimes it’s a little much. Many of the characters sound alike, no distinctive voices. The author has a white cop sounding black. The cops themselves don’t speak like actual cops. “We have to ask this last question. We can’t get fired now.” No cop says that.
The dialogue just isn’t natural. The dialogue during the sex scenes sounds like something from a cheap porno.
Chapters are titled.
The writing is very loose. A lot of extraneous words: They lived on top of a hill in one of the most gigantic mansions that anyone would ever want to see with their very own eyes. Another example: She opened up the door. ‘Up’ is not needed. A third example: The reason that it was her favorite necklace is because of the fact that her late grandfather had it custom made for her when she was ten-years-old. ‘Because of the fact’ is not needed.
One word used way too much is ‘that’. This is a word that needs to be pruned from the manuscript unless absolutely needed.
These are extra filler words that unnecessarily lengthen the book. These kinds of sentences are throughout along with repetitious words. I knew this was going to be a difficult read from page ten.
Too much unnecessary profanity.
Most of this book was written very poorly. I had to struggle throughout to work my brain around the meaning of the sentences. Once I did, I had to shake my head at how the sentence was formed, the word order, and how I shouldn’t have had to work so hard at reading.
Misspelled words including: The beautiful woman that stood at five-eleven was a breathtaking site. Not unless this woman was a building or a scenic landscape. In two sentences, Sade has only one breast. (She does have two, but the s is missing both times.)
Graphic sexual scenes.
Not believable scene: Sade lies to her grandmother about being raped and beaten and the grandmother tells her to go to bed, that they’ll go to the police in the morning. Uh, no. They would first go to the hospital-right away-and then contact the police. Grandma doesn’t even tend to the girl’s injuries. Then the following morning they don’t go to the police. Grandma goes to work and Sade goes to school. The subject of the ‘rape‘ doesn’t come up until days later. Huh?
Not believable scene: The school kids all talk about the accident of two of their classmates which made the news but say nothing about her house burning down and her parents dead inside? That didn’t make the news?
Not believable scene: Where detectives interview Sade. Cops don’t act like the two in this book. They a would have known that Sade’s parents had been murdered before the fire unless the fire destroyed all evidence which is unlikely. They would have questioned Sade earlier than they did and not just because relatives sent them.
Not believable scenes: Any of the scenes where Sade sees and speaks to the dead. I comprehend the idea behind them, but they’re so over-the-top, they become almost silly.
This entire book is a mess with countless errors and weak writing.