After The Evil
By Cary Allen Stone
A serial killer who castrates her victims. A homicide investigator trying to recover after the justifiable shooting of a young girl. An FBI agent thrown back into the presence of her former employer and boyfriend.
A good plot. Well thought out. Not sure if I like knowing who the killer is right away because it takes away from the suspense at the end.
Nick Parker: airline pilot, married, drives a Lincoln Navigator
Anthony Moralli: priest, dark hair and eyes, olive complexion
Jake Roberts: homicide investigator, American Indian
Thaddeus Abrams: 46, psychiatrist, married, 190 lb, 6′, brown hair, green eyes, scar on right elbow
Ed Fairchild: Roberts’ supervisor, married with children, smokes cigars
Mika Scott: FBI agent, black hair
Lori Powers: flight attendant, daughter dead, blonde, cyan eyes
Harmon Blackwell, black, Roberts’ partner, large man
A nice cast. Not too much physical descriptions for the main people so it was a bit difficult getting a mental image. I think Roberts and Harmon play well off each other. It might have been nice to get into the former relationship between Mika and Jake more.
As mentioned some nice interchanges between Harmon and Jake with Mika thrown into the mix sometimes. Lori’s internal dialogue with her daughter is a nice touch and adds to her ‘badness’.
Here’s where I have some problems. No profanity which is okay, but it might have added something with just a bit. I know that’s rare to say, but it is a cop/killer story and profanity adds realism.
Some misspelled words: you’re daughter should be your daughter and I don’t know how you can pea on a wall.
The major issue was POV and tense. When in first person from Jake’s POV the tense is present, although it changed at one point near the beginning when I was trying to figure it all out. With scenes other than Jake it’s third person past tense. The problem I had was when it was first person present with Jake the POV shifted to other characters. For instance, in a scene with Jake and Lori, Lori leaves the room and the POV shifts to her. Still in present tense. This happens a lot and for first person, using the word ‘I’, the POV can’t shift. I don’t think it works.
Too much physical distance and time passing between the good guys and the killer at the end. I knew the ending before Jake and Harmon arrived on scene which lessened the suspense.
This is the first of a series and Jake has a lot of potential.