By Darrell Case
Alison Stevens is an FBI agent who’s on the edge of losing her job. She’s assigned to investigate a series of murders of convicted criminals. What she doesn’t know is that the man behind the murders is the most powerful man in the country. Who can she trust when the justice system is against her? How can she prove who the killer is, especially when she becomes the number one suspect?
To tell you the truth, when I read the Amazon blurb, I curled my lip in disbelief. However, I thought, what the heck, I’ll give it a try. But with a major mistake at the beginning, cracks developed and worsened, and finally, the story fell apart into something that couldn’t happen.
Jerold Robbins: wealthy, Senator, running for U.S. President (at the beginning of the book), serial killer
Tony Steel: FBI director, married, graduated Harvard
Alison Stevens: FBI agent, parents murdered, pointy nose, large lips, thin cheeks, grew up on a farm in Indiana
Gene Drummy: attorney, connected with the Mafia, divorced, drives a Jaguar
Rome Jorgenson: FBI agent, former FBI instructor, mother left when he was ten
Barney Gibbons: counsel to Robbins
Keaton Wallace: late 50s, Attorney General, overweight
Sean Waller: hitman, formerly with the CIA, nicknamed the Shadow, owns a Ford Taurus
Jackson ‘Jack; Alexander: U.S. Vice President, former Alabama governor, married
A lot of characters, many bad guys. Not many physical descriptions. One jolt for me was a new assassin is mentioned late in the story and brought in all of a sudden, with no build up, no foreshadowing. Many characters just weren’t believable in their roles.
Robbins shouts a lot. Otherwise, voices were average, conversations were quick, some lines were grade A- or B+.
Relatively short chapters. No profanity.
A smattering of Christianity sprinkled throughout.
Scene changes and POV shifts in some chapters are abrupt, confusing, and distracting.
A few punctuation errors.
Three things not believable: 1. Robbins is in his first year as President. At the beginning of the book (February) he is ready to announce his candidacy and thinks that by the end of the year, he will be President. No person would, or could, announce his candidacy in February of an election year. The announcement would be made the previous year. 2. The FBI director bugs the Oval Office. I’m sure that room is swept for electronic devices on a regular basis. 3. The President is ostensibly in a restaurant restroom for over half an hour without being checked on by the Secret Service.
Actually, there are more things here and there in this story that are not believable even by a stretch of the imagination.
There’s a time continuity error. In one scene, Alison meets a farmer. Later that night, a Senator is killed. In a scene that comes still later, the farmer talks of the Senator being murdered two days before. That night Alison is amazed at the farmer’s friendliness considering they had met less than a day ago.
There is a gun fight between Alison and the killer but how the killer found her days after the previous encounter is not explained.
Continuity error: A bad guy ‘sets the bird (helicopter) down behind a low ridge’. To me, that sounds as if he landed. Three paragraphs later, he’s still flying it and sets it down again.
There were so many areas that could have been strengthened. I don’t know if they would have made the story believable, but it would have made some of the aspects of character development a little better.
When I read a book for review, I can tell-for the most part, with exceptions, of course-what the rank will be at the end. Many times the rank will change as either problems pop up or the story becomes really enjoyable. With this one, I kept dropping the rank until I reached one that held because the lack of spelling and grammar errors kept it from being a total disaster.
By Talia Haven
Little Jenny is enjoying her friends, her puppies, and the playground. Soon a monitor arrives and leads Jenny to a strange room. There, Jenny must witness an event, and make a decision that will affect others.
Okay, this is a short story and though it may seem like a children’s book, it’s not. Something about the blurb caught my attention even though it was a short story. Something tugged at me and I had to take a chance. I’m glad I did. I cannot reveal too much of the plot without playing spoiler. Just rest assured, this is one is a little eerie, a little sad, and tugs at the ol’ heartstrings.
Jenny: brown hair, owns puppies
Christa: owns puppies
Jamal: owns puppies
Theodore James Moore III: gray streaked hair, blue eyes, imprisoned
Azula: playground guardian
Not much description of the characters, but I don’t think much is needed here. You know the role each plays.
A couple tag lines that were capitalized. A couple tag lines that aren’t tag lines but action words. A couple errors of commas before dialogue that probably should be periods and periods where there should be commas. Theodore’s and Mama’s voices come through.
First person present tense from Jenny’s POV.
Some punctuation errors with semi-colons and ellipses. A couple capitalization errors. A couple misspelled words.
I was a bit confused when first meeting Theodore because it was such a shift and I didn’t quite understand at first. I also was wondering just what decision Jenny had to make, right up to the end when it was made.
Okay, this took me about ten minutes to read, and some may read it faster. But, there is a lot going on here and I commend the author’s imagination for creating an interesting and compelling story. I wish she had received a bit more editing before publishing. I tend to notice errors and one or two in a novel might be okay, but in a short, it’s very important to make sure everything is perfect in punctuation/spelling, etc.
So, I have to reduce the rank a bit and I wish I didn’t because the story is very good.
By Tammy Wunsch
Professor Ella Chvalier is sitting at a cafe enjoying a book when bullets nearly kill her. She’s rescued by an enigmatic man who tells her someone is after her and what she knows about the treasure of the Knights Templar. Said treasure is the subject of her latest book. Soon, she’s kidnapped, rescued again, and off on an adventure that will take her to Scotland and France. She’s helped by a colleague and pursued by a ‘brotherhood’ determined to obtain the treasure and regain power.
Ah yes, another Templar quest. I’m always up for a good adventure and this one has the makings of a good one. Unfortunately, this is also strewn with problems. Even though the plot is fine-if familiar- it’s hampered by aspects that make the adventure of reading a rocky one.
Gabriella ‘Ella’ Chevalier: Medieval history professor at Columbia University, has a Ph.d, has a sister, long brown hair,
Callum Sinclair: Scottish, Columbia professor, owns a border collie, wears glasses (Callum, not the dog. Lol), owns a ship, has a Ph.d, has two brothers and a sister, attended Oxford
Jack St. Germaine: blue eyes, attended the Sorbonne
I like the characters, although I would have liked Ella a bit more if she had stronger fortitude (she tends to faint a lot). Callum’s family tree has branches all over the place and I didn’t bother trying to keep everyone straight. Several more characters come into play later on. Could have used a bit more physical description of Ella (and some of the others, too) as I didn’t have a good mental image of her.
A lot of action going on after the taglines that could be separate sentences. Some taglines that aren’t tags (…” she smiled. …” Ella distractedly waved… …” Ella nodded…). Smile and waved and nodded are actions, not vocalizations. A lot of ‘ly’ words describing how something is said. Action and the scene should show this.
Sometimes there are two tag lines. i.e. – “Do the police have the book?” he asked. “Are they testing it for gunshot residue or ballistics or anything else?” he asked anxiously. The second tag line isn’t needed and neither does the reader need to know he spoke anxiously. This is seen during the last couple of paragraphs. In one paragraph of dialogue and action, Ella is tagged three times.
Relatively short chapters. No profanity.
A lot of ‘ly’ words to describe action. A lot of repetitive words close together. i.e. Ella frowned in bewilderment… The next sentence has her staring in bewilderment.
A settlement on an island is spelled differently in two chapters.
Some sentences need re-working: i.e. – He removed his glasses and tried to smooth his hair into place with a sigh. How do you smooth hair with a sigh? i.e. – As he took his chair, he leaned in and lightly grasped Ella’s hand as he murmured… One of the words to avoid if possible is ‘as’.
A lot of overwriting. Too many unnecessary words. However…
Save for some lectures on Templar history, this story lacks some details. People and events are skimmed over: Ella’s kidnapping ordeal was more ‘telling’ than ‘showing. Callum’s ship’s description is glossed over. So are a lot of action scenes. (Many times the rescue comes way too quickly after the bullets start flying.) I wanted to slow down and have a good mental picture of everything but found myself thrown into the next scene. The wonderful islands and cities that are visited are barely if ever described. The chapters bounce from scene to scene without ever pausing to let the reader enjoy the scenery.
I thought the ‘reveal’ of who characters were was done too early. There wasn’t time for me to get settled in before, BAM. And for such a serious mission, with danger at any moment, there is a lot of sex happening in a number chapters.
Here’s an interesting question – Ella and Callum leave New York in short order. They’re gone for several days. Does anybody at Columbia wonder where they are? Callum, I sort of understand since he had planned his vacation. Part of the question is answered later.
One of the frustrating things about stories with so many errors, is I catch them right away. For instance all of the errors I mentioned were in the first forty-five pages. I know when there are so many problems at the beginning, they are going to continue throughout. This makes the story difficult to read and less enjoyable.
I debated between ranks, but remembering previous Camos I’d given I think I have to go with:
By Christopher Slayton
They are an elite team of genetically enhanced soldiers. Each has special abilities, from telekinesis to healing injuries. Led by Lieutenant Tyler Young they handle the global problems that need ‘extra’ attention. When the team foils a plot against the President, they turn their attention to capturing another super-human.
It’s the makings of what could be a cool comic book and maybe an action movie. For a plot, I think it’s fine. There are superheroes and super villains. There are political ramifications and power plays. All expected in this type of story. Some areas are less believable than others, but the plot is fine. However, there are other, more serious problems.
Desmond Striker: rank of Private First Class, enhanced soldier, brown skin, parents dead
Liam King: Australian, dirty blond hair, blue eyes, gun-for-hire, enhanced abilities, former military
Tyler Young: rank of Lieutenant, enhanced soldier, father and grandfather were soldiers, mother dead
Henry Wilbert: holds a doctorate, scientist
Anna Young: 5’9”, Tyler’s foster sister, enhanced soldier, Private First Class, trained in martial arts
Daniel Bishop: Colonel, pale, wrinkled
James Westfield: emerald eyes, former Marine, owns Armored Tempest, owns a helicopter
I can understand the personalities of the team members when they first get put together-a little joking, teasing, etc.-but after three years some joking is fine, but, at times, they all sound like they’re freshmen or sophomores in high school. Especially the guys. They certainly don’t seem like sound professionals with years of training, warfare, and conflict under their belts. Maybe this helps the ‘comic book’ ambiance, but for a novel, I don’t think it works.
Incorrect punctuation on tag lines. Periods where there should be commas. Commas where there should be periods (The tag line should be a separate sentence.) Too many adverbs describing how characters spoke, too many ‘ly’ words. Too many tag lines other than said. A lot of ‘roaring’ and ‘yelling’ and ‘screaming’ going on (even one character screaming to himself) when the action and tension of the scene should show how a character said words.
Chapters are titled. Profanity.
Incorrect words used. Misspelled words. A tense change in one paragraph from past to present. Punctuation errors.
In general, the writing was pretty weak. Shorter sentences needed for the action scenes. There were two or three or more actions going on in one action sequence. Tighter writing was needed in that there were a lot of unnecessary words. (i.e. – Kiyoko tightened her grip, and with her enhanced strength and the man’s body growing weaker by the second she crushed his neck within seconds, leaving the man to suffocate. – By this time, the reader already knows she has enhanced strength. The last part, ‘leaving the man to suffocate’ probably isn’t needed at best. At worst, the man doesn’t suffocate if his neck is crushed. He’s already dead.) (i.e. – She grabbed him by his tie and pulled him in for a kiss that seemed to last forever, all while softly placing a hand on his brown cheek with her other hand gripping his toned bicep. This sentence is too wordy. The first part is fine, but ‘all the while…’ doesn’t work because if the kiss lasts awhile, she is not still placing her hand on his cheek. The last part just adds to the run-on.)
Here’s an interesting visual that I can’t quite see happening: Vincent quickly used his enemy’s weapon against him by bashing the barrel into the man’s face. He then threw the man over his shoulder, holding onto his weapon and sprayed a few rounds into his chest.
There were several occasions of ‘killing him instantly’. Not needed. The act of shooting him or zapping him or whatever method used would imply that death is the result.
Like the dialogue, there are a lot of ‘ly’ words to describe action.
Not believable: In the scene with the President and the bad guy causes havoc, she (the President) is not going to order Secret Service agents and then take cover. The Secret Service would have a precise plan to remove her from danger and they would implement it.
Because of the mistakes and the other problems, this was a difficult read. The adequate plot saves it from the lowest rank.
By N. S. Johnson
What treasures does a strange man in a small town have for some special children? An old man waits for his lost dog on Christmas Eve. A graveyard of planes that are ready for one more flight. A birthday party turns extra special for two of the guests. A recluse and his love for animals. A music lover gets the last note on a fuddy-duddy. A wannabe movie producer gets his chance to be with a legend…maybe. A harried teenager seeks the ultimate resolution. Bullies learn their lesson. Strange happenings at a New England inn. What happens when personal electronic device becomes too personal? A man tries to move on after his wife is sent to prison. What happens when an atheist goes to heaven.
Thirteen stories with a little mystery, a little drama, some speculation, some Twilight Zone-esque twist. Some of the stories are pretty good and some I didn’t quite understand. Some seemed to end abruptly and I wondered what happened next.
Silas Keebler: lanky, pale, black hair, drives a van
Buff: a B52 Stratofortress bomber
Ted Thayer: late 50s, health insurance executive, owns two Basset hounds, widower, has a sister
Todd Thompson: 24, handsome, dark hair, brown eyes, works in a brokerage firm, father an attorney
Caleb: picked on by bullies
Kathy Watson: owns a Porsche Boxster, married
Kyle Rand: ex wife in prison, has a daughter, writer
I’m not sure why, but a few stories have main or supporting characters with the last name of Thompson. I can see once, but why more than once? Some good surface stuff of characters. Personalities came through.
As did most of the voices. Tight conversations as needed.
No profanity except for some hell’s scattered in the last story.
I found no errors in grammar/punctuation/spelling. As mentioned, some of the stories had some twist, although many were predictable. These were more Twilight Zone light rather than Tales From The Crypt horror. Some are short, others not so short. Some could have been drawn out more to add more tension and greater impact.
By R. Weir
Denver PI Jarvis Mann is back in action. Case #1: his landlord wants evidence of her husband’s shenanigans. Mann finds the husband is into some shady street deals. Case #2: an officer friend can’t find his college football playing son. A couple of heavies and blackmail are involved.
Knowing Mann, he won’t stop until he finds the answers.
Another PI story. I like this one because it involves two cases, which, as an author writing a story with a PI handling two cases I was interested to see how this one was arranged. How much time does an author give to each storyline (supposing, of course, they don’t connect farther into the book)? The author does a good job of keeping the different lines separate and not leaving the reader wondering, “Hey what about…?”
Jarvis Mann: mid 30s, private investigator, drives a Ford Mustang
Kate Tanner: Mann’s landlord, married with children, owner of a beauty salon, 40s, 5’7”, long black hair, tattooed, owns a Harley and Toyota RAV
Jack Tanner: 51, Kate’s husband, 5’10”, 200 lbs, short red and graying hair, drives a Ford Ranger
Melissa Diaz: Mann’s girlfriend, brown hair, green eyes, legal assistant in a law firm, exercises, mother is an attorney
Bill Malone: black, police officer, married with a son and daughter
Constance: Nicknamed Raven, black/red hair
Dennis Gash: senior in high school, black, football player, 195 lbs
Marquis Melott: owns a strip club, drives a Mercedes, black, bald,
Too many characters to list but a few. Good cast. Good variety of personalities. Typical bad guys who show up in these stories. Girlfriend and cop are expected cast members, too. A few physical descriptions. I’d like more about Mann (tall, thin, short, fat, balding, mole on his left cheek), something so I can get a mental image. It would help me be closer to the character.
Several characters speak without using contractions. Sometimes it’s okay, but it is noticeable and not necessarily how some people speak.
First person from Mann’s POV.
Reading this and getting to about a third of the way through, I wondered, what now? It seemed like he wrapped up the cases in short order. But no, they linger. And, surprisingly, the story didn’t drag. As mentioned above, enough switching from case to case kept everything moving. Action was good.
There was even an interesting wrinkle at the end that was amusing.
Good read, stand-out PI story.
By Andrea Perno
The year is 2103. Technology is there for everyone to plug into. Civilnet will help you with your job, tell you when you’re in danger, and even suggest conversation starters. It helps control your diet and matches you with the correct mate. Practically anything known is attainable and Civilnet is there to help and everyone is content. Sarah, though, is not content, not happy with her job and is having other problems. Memory problems. She can’t remember her childhood or her parents. She can’t remember certain events. And she’s making decisions that go against Civilnet. Doctors and family don’t know what to do to restore her fully to Civilnet. So, after an assault upon her she is given a ‘vacation’. She is sent to a ‘resort’ where’s she ‘unplugged’. The resort, though, isn’t what she bargained for and what she discovers about herself and her world may change everything.
This is a little sci-fi, a little thriller, some suspense. I usually don’t review sci-fi, but this intrigued me enough to give it a chance.
Sarah: 41, works in waste management,
Elizabeth: Sarah’s sister, has a blue steak in her dark hair, ultramarine eyes
Jeff: Sarah’s husband, doctor
Silvia: middle aged, stubby round nose
Adam: tall, thin, white eyebrows
William: southern accent, blue eyes
Nobody has last names. Sarah sometimes sounds younger than 41. There are some interesting characters that reflect the nature of the story, that show the nature of man vs. technology.
Some of Sarah’s phrasing sound present day (a reference to the Hulk; ‘no shit Sherlock’). It’s okay, but in the future, the common phrases would be different. Otherwise, William’s voice comes through well.
First person from Sarah’s POV. Present tense. Profanity.
There is a character who shows up in the latter half of the book and my problem with him is who he is revealed to be. Who he is is fine, but he wasn’t mentioned before this so I didn’t get to enjoy the ‘revelation’. This was a surprise character with no previous reference in the story.
The ending was…different, but again, the twist was only referenced a few times (if I’m understanding it correctly) but I didn’t understand the connection between the reference and the ending. Now, again, maybe it’s just me and other readers would be able to say, “Got it.” right away. Maybe that’s why I don’t read this type of sci-fi very often because I want to enjoy the story without having to try to understand ‘the bigger picture’.
Having said that, however, I’m not saying it’s a bad story. It is well-written with no misspelled words, maybe a punctuation error near the beginning. Descriptions were detailed enough I followed right along in my head. Action was good.
By Dermot Davis
The problem starts during his wedding. Jonathan Dabko doesn’t feel right. About the wedding. About his wife Maria. His troubles will increase during the next few weeks to where therapy is needed and he begins to make rash choices that may drive him deeper into trouble if he doesn’t find the solution. However, he isn’t the only one with problems. A killer is on the loose.
This is a ragtag story with lots of angles with everybody having problems with events from his or her past. For me, it was a little bit difficult with spokes of-well, not necessarily subplots, but delving into personal problems-coming in every so often from each character. I didn’t quite understand the inclusion of the murders other than just to have another subplot.
Jonathan Dabko: 32, parents dead
Maria Gianini Dabko: 24, Jonathan’s wife, parents gone, brown-green eyes, suffered from depression as a teen, has a brother
Peter Wynne: Dabko’s friend
Philip: Maria’s ex boyfriend, record talent scout
Loraine: Philip’s girlfriend, musician
Barbara Evans: psychiatrist, 30s, dirty blonde hair
Bill Lanioff: Barbara’s psychiatrist, father was a farmer
Almost every character in this book has problems that are touched upon throughout. Some problems are solved and others aren’t. One thing I found troubling with Peter is that much of his history isn’t known. Therefore his actions came as a surprise. There was no explanation of why he did what he did. He was an otherwise normal person. Part of the problem lies in the fact that this delves into character a lot, but not deeply enough to get a strong hold on them, other than possibly Jonathan. There are no connections between many of them so the problems, say from Evans, only make me see she really isn’t credible or trustworthy as a doctor.
I think Peter’s voice comes through well. Conversations don’t wander off too far.
Some of the internal thoughts of some of the characters that switch to present tense aren’t natural. People don’t think like that, in lengthy sentences. Better to use the narrator and go third person close.
Sometimes the POVs within a chapters. I can see the attempt at omnipresent viewpoint, but sometimes the POV and scene shifts, especially near the end, are jolting.
This was a mental story with lots of internal thoughts and sorting through issues. Taken as a whole, I think the story lacks oomph because of the disjointed subplots. There is no resolution for Evans and the ending doesn’t make sense. How and why did Jonathan go to Peter’s house? Should it not have been his old house? I guess what saved this from going any lower was the fact there were no misspelling/grammar/punctuation errors. But it was close.
By Charles Winstanley
Terrorists poison Manchester, England’s water supply and threaten worse if their demands aren’t met. Special Branch officer David Rockbourne teams with MI5 agent Laura McAllister to stop them. In their quest, they must deal with a stubborn Home Office Minister and a developing romance.
Thrillers usually make for a good story. Terrorists poisoning the water sounds good. Agents on the go trying to stop them are the ones to cheer for.
However, as mentioned below, this is the basic plot with hardly any sidelines, scant details about bad guys their background, and quick chapters.
Gary Charles Potter: 50, thinning hair, a bit overweight, married with daughters, Minister of State for the Environment
David Rockbourne: 42, 6’2”, police officer in the Special Branch, in the middle of a divorce, dark hair, parents dead, attended Cambridge, was in the intelligence corps, scar on forehead
Laura McAllister: 32, MI5 agent, long brown hair, has a brother, attended Queens University, parents dead, has a degree in mathematics,
Yuri Datsik: has a daughter, gray hair, weathered skin, blue eyes, former Speznaz Lt. Colonel,
Chris Stirling: 40, married with daughter, works for Clean Flow PLC, attended Cambridge, author, PH.d
Richard Richardson: England’s PM
Characters are pretty basic. The main players each have a short intro chapter with a limited dossier version of physical, employment, and academic details.
In the file that I read, there was no comma before many of the tag lines. At least in one instance there is a single quote to dialogue while most are double. I don’t care which but it needs to be consistent. Conversations didn’t wander and explanations were almost too succinct. Part of my problem, explained below, is that I didn’t see the emotional reaction to the dialogue. I heard Potter’s frustration and dismissal of what authorities were telling him, but that was about it.
No real voices come through other than Potter’s. I certainly didn’t hear the Russian voices.
The interrogation between the good guys and one of the terrorists was not believable, especially in light of the crisis. Too bland. Hardly any emotion shown.
Titled chapters. Short chapters. A couple bits of missing, incorrect, and misplaced punctuation. Some repetitious words or phrasing close together. For instance the terrorist’s emails are unnecessarily repeated.
Okay, let me try to explain my biggest problem with the story. First, let me say, that, as mentioned above, it’s a good plot. Oft seen thriller, yes, but still good. However, the writing style is basic. Chapters are short and therefore, do not go into too much depth or detail. It’s basic information about character, scene. Emotional and action-oriented depth are lacking. I didn’t feel close to the story. Sentences were basic: (not an actual example, but close enough) Yes, he knew the danger was near. However, he was attracted by her beautiful eyes.
The romance was pat, expected, not enough resistance or tension. Both Laura and David, conveniently, had just gotten out of troubled relationships and too quickly felt attraction for one another.
What’s not quite believable is how calm and casual the characters who are in London remain or seem to act. Some are ‘concerned’ but it’s more of a frustrated discussion type of attitude. Not to play spoiler but approaching the half way point in the story, the plot would have seen riots and chaos throughout the city and elsewhere. At least that would seem the logical outcome of events. But there’s nothing. No showing how the population reacts.
Other scenes aren’t believable. In one, the good guys know that one terrorist is going to fire off a missile with nerve gas but there are several targets. Immediately, all top government officials would have been notified and moved to safety, (some were) but the royal family isn’t swept up until after the attack. Some
With only a bit more than 47,000 words, this is novella territory, which is fine if that’s what the author wanted. However, this could have been much longer story with more punch. I debated between two ranks and although there were no misspelled words I noticed, the story became less believable as it went along.
by Samantha Cross
Cora Nash is vacationing with her grandmother in woodsy upstate Michigan. Soon after her arrival she hears animal noises outside the cabin. Then a tree-hugger disappears and lumberjacks are attacked. What chased Cora through the woods one night? A bear? A wolf? Something bigger and deadlier? Hmm? Could it be a…you-know-what that howls at the full moon? Hmm?
Ah yes, another werewolf story. Oops, did I leak a spoiler? Lol. So, here’s my rule on stories with vamps/zombies/werewolves: I have read enough of them that they have to be something different or unusual for me to accept them. So, what does that tell you about this one? Yes, different. A light-hearted and amusing little tale that, at times brings to mind a certain Grimm tale. I mean, look at the characters below. A young woman, a grandmother, and a hunter. Duh! Lol.
Cora Nash: 26, photographer, chestnut colored hair, blue eyes, vegetarian, drives a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, can play the flute and clarinet
Wendy Nash: Cora’s grandmother, puffy short light blue hair, has memory problems
Priscilla: 28, store clerk, dresses Goth
Henry: overweight, works in the grocery store
Max: shoulder length brown hair, hunter, drives a pickup
Joe: nicknamed Hippie Joe, brown hair, nature lover
Owen: blue eyes, dark hair, has a sister, parents dead
Jason Wilson: deputy, dark hair, dark eyes, married
Interesting cast. A variety of personalities, all with just a bit of…strangeness. Not totally, just a layer here and there. Which is not bad. It definitely raised an eyebrow because while I could see a store cashier and a hunter and maybe even an environmentalist, the way they acted was just a bit…off, as mentioned below in the dialogue. Again, this is not to say the character styles didn’t work, but they were different.
Some unnecessary tag lines with ‘ly’ adverbs. A lot of the dialogue from every characters was a bit…off. Not that it wasn’t believable, but just…off. Not completely ridiculous for the characters, just…you know. The conversations didn’t proceed like I would have expected from the character types. A lot of cynicism and sarcasm, one liners, especially from Cora but others, too. Molly’s and Priscilla’s voices came through pretty well.
One tag line mistake. A sentence was tagged by the incorrect person.
First person from Nash’s POV. Profanity.
At the beginning, Cora mentions a store clerk’s name is Priscilla, but mentions it before she is told.
Almost a third of the book goes by with little tension. Sure, Cora hears things, but some real meat doesn’t happen for a couple days.
When action does happen, it’s tense. The ending is…well, not so amusing and light-hearted anymore. It’s fast, fierce, and frenetic.
This is a fine read with some good characters, good back and forth dialogue, some romance, and something a little different from the usual wolfie type story.